Solving the Christmas Mystery

As of this summer, I have been married for five years. Over these five years, I've learned a lot about my husband, but one thing has always puzzled me: Christmas. Why does he say he hates Christmas?

To me, everything about the season is lovely and magical and happy. I love the lights, and the tree, and the cookies, and the eggnog, and the music, and the -- well. You get my point. But to Dave, all of these lovely things seem to be torture of the worst kind. And the more I tried to get him to like it, the more he'd groan and resist.

Well, this year, we had a breakthrough. I'm finally starting to understand what drives him so crazy, and -- horror of horrors! -- I kind of know what he's talking about.

It all started when one Saturday, to my surprise, he suggested we put the Christmas tree up. My husband? Actually wanting to decorate the tree? But it was still November, and, as delighted as I was, I remarked, "But honey, I haven't made any Christmas cookies yet! We can't decorate the tree without sugar cookies to eat and eggnog to drink."

When he threw up his hands in disgust and said, "Forget it," I knew I was on dangerous ground. Here we were, finally at a place where he was willing to participate in Christmas activities, and somehow, I was blowing it. What was wrong? Didn't he like cookies?

It was in the next couple minutes that I learned something quite profound. Something that we adults all seem to know, deep down inside, but we ignore for the sake of tradition and holiday cheer.

Christmas is too complicated.

My low-key, laid-back, tired-because-work-is-so-busy husband just wanted to do something fun with the kids. And I wanted to make it complicated with all my talk of shortbread and hot chocolate. All that work was taking the fun out of Christmas, he said.

Isn't it just so true? As an adult, I had slowly been realizing the same thing. Now that it's my responsibility to clean up after the kids and bake delectable goodies and make sure everyone gets a fair amount of gifts, Christmas has been getting less and less fun every year. But I blew the feeling off, thinking that if I could just have a little more time to do everything just right, it would become fun again. My philosophy was basically that enough sugar cookies and lighted fake evergreen garlands could bring back the magic of my childhood Christmases.

Boy, was I wrong.

So now, in an effort to sincerely make the best Christmas for my husband and children, I'm trying a new philosophy: Simplicity.

It's not as easy as it sounds. I'm really struggling with trying to figure out nice, inexpensive, thoughtful gifts that take no time. And, as much as we try to clear our schedule, there are just some holiday events that we don't want to miss. I'm cutting back on my baking, but I don't want to go without any cookies. And, the less I want to do myself, the more I have to spend to get someone else to do it for me.

I can tell that simplifying Christmas could be difficult, but I'm willing to give it my best shot. After all, my favourite part of the season isn't really the lights, or the tree, or the cookies, or the eggnog, or the music. It's the birthday. And that birthday was really, ultimately, about one thing: Love.

So why should our Christmas be about anything else?