Blessed Are The Poor In Spirit...

Strange things are happening.

I was sitting in church yesterday when my mind wandered. Somehow, I went from focusing on what Rod was saying to thinking about my spiritual journey and how I always seem to be closer to God when crises are happening. I cling to him when I need him, and coast when things are easy.

That's when the light bulb went on.

You see, I've been struggling lately. I've been complaining to God about my best friend moving away. Far, far away. Throughout this whole last year and a half, whenever I needed a friend to cry with or just some godly perspective, she's been there. And now, when I'm sad about her leaving, I think, "I should call N to come over for some coffee and a chat," then I realize that I can't. And that makes it worse.

The light bulb moment came when I realized that all my sadness about her leaving is actually creating a bit of a crisis... which in turn draws me to rely on God more. So really, God isn't being mean to me or her for calling her family away. He's being kind. He's drawing us to himself. *Bing!*

I know it's a little strange to be a bit of a crisis junkie, finding it easier to rely on God when I've got no resources left. Most people seem to do the opposite, praising him when things are going well and questioning him when things don't go their way. But really, I do that, too. I question him and complain a lot. I struggle through his motives, his trustworthiness, my faith.

But every time a crisis comes and I choose to rely on him, I find him to be an unwavering rock, a comfort, and a source of inexplicable strength. Every time I've been forced to see if his promises are true, I have discovered them to be absolutely real.

It's been in the worst times of my life that I've gotten to know him best. Those are the moments that my faith went from something that created emotional highs to something that created deep roots of strength and peace and trust.

Doesn't God work in strange ways?